Admin Speak

If your administrator says:
~ Then what he actually means is:

That's very interesting. ~ I disagree.
I don't disagree.~ I disagree.
I don't totally disagree with you.~ You may be right, but I don't care.
You have to show some flexibility.~ You have to do it whether you want to or not.
We have an opportunity.~ You have a problem.
You obviously put a lot of work into this.~ This is awful.
In a perfect world.~ Just get it working and get it out the door.
Help me to understand.~ I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.
You just don't understand our business.~ We don't understand our business.
You need to see the big picture.~ My boss thinks it's a good idea.
My mind is made up.~ I am adamant on the subject. There is no room for discussion.
If you want to discuss it further, my door is always open.~ F%^$ you.
I appreciate your contribution.~ F%^$ you.
We're going to follow a strict methodology here.~ We're going to do it my way.
I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary?~ I still can't figure out how to start the e-mail program.
Cost of ownership is a significant issue.~ We want all of the benefits and none of the costs.
We have to leverage our resources.~ You're working weekends.
Individual contributor.~ Employee who does real work.
Your project is on hold.~ We've put a bullet in it.
Wrong answer.~ You didn't tell me what I wanted to hear.
You needed to be more proactive.~ You should have protected me from myself.
I'd like your buy-in on this.~ I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs.
We want you to be the executive champion of this project.~ I want to be able to blame you for my mistakes.
We need to syndicate this decision.~ We need to spread the blame if it backfires.
We have to put on our marketing hats.~ We have to put ethics aside.
It's not possible. It's impractical. It won't work.~ I don't know how to do it.
It's a no-brainer.~ It's a perfect decision for me to handle.
I'm glad you asked me that.~ Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer.
I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal.~ One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid.
There are larger issues at stake.~ I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts.
I'll never lie to you.~ The truth will change frequently.
Our business is going through a paradigm shift.~ We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different.
The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees.~ The upcoming reductions will benefit me.

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